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Entertainment Podcasts

Entertainment Podcasts

  • Feb 23, 2018 | 17:25 pm

    ‘Please, I'll Tell You Everything,’ Whimpers Rick Gates After Mueller Threatens To Send Him Back To White House Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 17:11 pm

    Episode 4: The Official Story In the fourth episode of “A Very Fatal Murder,” David recruits Onion Public Radio’s robust team of interns to recreate the night of Hayley Price’s murder in order to determine once and for all if a person can really die from a simultaneous gunshot-stabbing-strangling-drowning. Plus: A major twist.Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 15:37 pm

    Joss Whedon Exits ‘Batgirl’ Movie Saying that he didn’t have a story to tell, filmmaker Joss Whedon has left the production of DC Entertainment’s Batgirl film. What do you think?Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 15:11 pm

    Exhausted Olympian Finally Decides To Rent Pyeongchang Hotel Room Instead Of Flying Home To America Each Night Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 14:46 pm

    John Kelly Struggles To Maintain Believable Trump Impression During Phone Calls With Parkland Survivors WASHINGTON—Finding it difficult to refrain from basic human compassion and instead make everything about himself in the face of horrible tragedy, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly struggled Friday to maintain a believable Trump impression during phone calls with the teenage survivors of the mass shooting in…Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 13:59 pm

    New Evidence Suggests President George Washington Sent Woodcut Of Penis To Secretary PHILADELPHIA—Saying the discovery shed new light on the father of our country, a team of University of Pennsylvania archivists announced Monday that new evidence suggests George Washington sent a woodcut of his penis to his secretary. “After uncovering a well-preserved, remarkably graphic woodcut dating from the…Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 13:25 pm

    Author Of ‘Introduction To Algebra’ Recalls Textbook Being Rejected By 12 Publishers Before Getting Accepted NEW YORK—Recalling how his best-selling mathematics primer had struggled to garner any attention from top textbook agents, author Bruce Gallagher confirmed Friday that his runaway blockbuster textbook, Introduction To Algebra, had been rejected by a dozen publishers before finally being picked up. “All the big houses…Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 13:19 pm

    New Report Finds Link Between Each Passing Day, Jeanette Getting More Beautiful SAN DIEGO—Shedding new light on the young woman’s mystifying allure, a report released Friday found a link between the passing days and the fair Jeanette growing ever more beautiful. “According to our research, there may, in fact, exist a strong correlation between the rate at which Jeanette’s ethereal loveliness…Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 10:44 am

    Watching The Olympics Has Inspired Me To Start Trying To Jump Over Stuff  The Olympics never fail to leave me in awe. It is both humbling and enthralling to witness what the greatest athletes in the world can accomplish when they work hard and push themselves to excel. And this time around, watching the incredible achievements at the winter games in Pyeongchang has[…]

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 10:12 am

    Eagles Fans Finally Sober Enough To Return To Work Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 10:00 am

    Sighing, Resigned Climate Scientists Say To Just Enjoy Next 20 Years As Much As You Can GENEVA—Attending a conference to discuss alarming new data on rising sea levels, a weary group of top climatologists suddenly halted their presentation Friday, let out a long sigh, and stated that the best thing anyone can do at this point is just try to enjoy the next couple decades as[…]

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 09:41 am

    Tips​​ For​​ Getting​​ The ​​Most​​ Out​​ Of ​​Life Travel to a foreign country and have a once-in-a-lifetime experience with someone you love, or, short of that, just convince yourself that happiness comes from within.Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 09:27 am

    Jennifer Lawrence Tells Critics Of Her Versace Dress To ‘Get A Grip’ After drawing criticism from feminists for wearing a revealing dress during the premiere of her new thriller Red Sparrow, Jennifer Lawrence responded that the complaints were “sexist” and “ridiculous.” What do you think?Read more...

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  • Feb 23, 2018 | 09:13 am

    Barista Gets Sick Little Thrill Telling Coffee Shop Customers There No Restroom Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 20:00 pm

    Spectators Bombarded With Gamma Radiation As Rapidly Spinning Figure Skater Collapses Into Singularity Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 16:01 pm

    Ivanka Trump To Keep Focus On Athletes, Not North Korea, During Winter Olympics Trip Saying she was merely excited to support U.S. athletes, First Daughter Ivanka Trump clarified that her trip to the Winter Olympics would not be spent engaging diplomatically with North Korea. What do you think?Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 15:17 pm

    Wayne LaPierre Accidentally Blows Hand Off During CPAC Speech Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 15:04 pm

    Oxfam: ‘Your Donation Will Help Us Protect Impoverished Girls From Our Employees’ OXFORD, ENGLAND—International nongovernmental organization Oxfam announced a new pledge campaign Thursday requesting help in their effort to protect impoverished girls from sexual predation at the hands of Oxfam employees. “Your donation can make a difference in the lives of girls in countries suffering from the…Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 14:49 pm

    Nationwide Sympathy Pours In For Traumatized CNN Town Hall Survivor Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 13:08 pm

    Employees Annoyed At Having To Attend 3-Hour-Long Sexual Seduction Training SPARKS, MD—Noting that the extensive program would significantly cut into their workday, employees at digital agency IMERQ were reportedly annoyed Thursday at having to attend a three-hour-long sexual seduction training. “I know sexual seduction is an important issue, but I hate having to reschedule client meetings…Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 12:40 pm

    Area Bus Driver Would Prefer Not To Say 'You’re Welcome' For Thousandth Time Today Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 11:56 am

    Essential Oils: Myth vs. Fact Essential oils have grown increasingly popular as natural remedies for common health problems, but their actual effectiveness is the subject of much debate. The Onion outlines some of the myths and facts surrounding essential oils.Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 10:20 am

    Badass Churchgoer Doesn’t Even Have To Look At Hymnal CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—Staring in awe at the total goddamn renegade in the front pew, witnesses told reporters Sunday that badass churchgoer Frank Wittman knew the words without even having to glance at the hymnal. “When it comes to praising the Lord in song, Wittman’s fucking hardcore—head up, hands out like[…]

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 10:13 am

    Drinking Alcohol Linked To Long Life Neurologists at the University of California found that moderate drinking is linked to living longer than 90, with 2 glasses of beer or wine per day decreasing premature deaths by 18%. What do you think?Read more...

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  • Feb 22, 2018 | 10:11 am

    Nation’s Beekeepers Warn They Don’t Know How Much Longer They Can Hold Back Swarms’ Wrath PEACHAM, VT—Telling friends and neighbors to flee for their lives before it was too late, the nation’s beekeepers stated Thursday they were unsure how much longer they could hold back the furious swarms buzzing ominously around their hives. “For generations, we have fought to contain the violent wrath of bees,[…]

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  • Feb 19, 2018 | 06:55 am

    A 47-year-old woman has made the astonishing claim that her chronic dandruff, which has plagued her since early childhood, has now completely cleared up, due, to what she believes to be, the miraculous healing powers of a likeness of US President, Do...

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  • Feb 15, 2018 | 12:22 pm

    The first Valentine day for any new couple should always be special, but it was spoilt for Gary Johnson and Isabel Smith by predictive text.'It was going to be really special. I had put together a really nice meal, bought Isabel's favourite wines...

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  • Feb 14, 2018 | 10:31 am

    Minister for Malapropism and head clown Boris Johnsonmade a controversial speech today, in which he claimed that the success or failure of Brexit had nothing to do with his government's negotiations with the EU. Instead, he said, it rested entirely...

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  • Feb 12, 2018 | 09:41 am

    Troubled email provider, Yahoo, is to have all its accounts destroyed in a controlled explosion later on today.It is understood that 5 tonnes of plastic explosive will be used in the operation, which will hopefully clear a space on the internet f...

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  • Feb 11, 2018 | 13:38 pm

    Gary Johnson, a nine year old green jumper from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has declared that he hates the winter.'I hate it, I really do' said the woollen mass. 'It is so cold, and I hate to go out in, but that chap, Wayne, or Kevin or whatever he is c...

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  • Feb 10, 2018 | 08:06 am

    During yesterday’s particularly moving “This Morning” segment, presenter Holly Willoughby shed so many tears that her entire body was drained of moisture, leaving her as a dried-out husk on the famous couch.As little Timmy Syrup, aged seven and...

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  • Feb 9, 2018 | 10:15 am

    Shane Whotsit, from Chutney on the Fritz who read all of Michael Wolff's despised political tome Fire and Fury - Inside Trump's White House for a bet.He still has headaches one month after finishing it."Yes, I bet my cousin Nathan that I coul...

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  • Jan 31, 2018 | 00:33 am

    David Davis, the Brexit minister, has given a frank and open interview to journalist Frank Open, and revealed some details about the process of extricating the UK from the EU."It's very difficult," said Davis. "Barnier [chief negotiator for the E...

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  • Jan 29, 2018 | 09:34 am

    The normally efficient German tourist trade has lost the 'Battle of the Pool', and have been forced back to the beaches because Brit tourist companies have secured the "Front-line" by reserving sun- lounges for their lobster-looking punters!Germa...

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  • Jan 24, 2018 | 10:26 am

    Have you worked for the same company for more time than you care to think about?Have you been moved from one department to another? Do you know your skill set? Do you have skills? Are you universally loathed for who you are and what you do?If...

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  • Jan 24, 2018 | 00:28 am

    Today in Brussels, Boris Johnson made a long-awaited speech to the EU, setting out the terms of Brexit as he sees them. Here is the full unabridged text of his speech."Good afterlunch, my fellow Euro-chumps and bureaucratinators. It has been eigh...

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  • Jan 22, 2018 | 04:45 am

    Sainsbury's and Tesco are the big winners of an invitation to tender organized by the NHS to cut costs and outsource specific services.Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health, welcomed the news, calling it a 'milestone' in the history of healt...

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  • Jan 22, 2018 | 03:22 am

    To boost flagging sales in their supermarkets, clever marketing gurus have introduced a "wicked" way to get the public to enter their stores instead of their competitors; they are importing the world's most deadly, venomous spider!Wrapped in bun...

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  • Jan 21, 2018 | 06:26 am

    Idiot Wayne Badger from Stow on the Wold instantly regretted spendingmore than £200,000 on a very rare Rolex watch, as he realised he would not be able to live in it.Teresa Badger, the idiots long suffering wife said 'Honestly, my Wayne, much a...

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  • Jan 12, 2018 | 02:51 am

    A UK butcher stuck in his freezer after a wicked draught blew through his shop and slammed the freezer door shut, used the only thing possible to save his life; frozen Black Pudding!Yes! Life-saving bloody black puddings are now being installed i...

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  • Jan 11, 2018 | 19:21 pm

    Kensington Palace, London Prince Harry called President Trump over the secret, red phone diplomatic line and convinced Trump that he was North Korea's Kim Jong-Un and that he could see everything Trump was doing."Hello Donnie! This is your old pa...

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  • Jan 11, 2018 | 11:55 am

    Conservative MP, Tobias Strom, today blasted the use of food banks up and down the country. Talking to forty other like minded cock ends he said:There is a growing epidemic in this country and I'm not talking about poor people!This got the ex...

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  • Jan 11, 2018 | 10:56 am

    Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has blasted Virgin Railways for banning the Daily Mail. Or as we at Back and to the Left news refer to it as "A Rag for people who love racism to have a wank over".Boris, who looked like he'd been drinking but he a...

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  • Jan 11, 2018 | 04:56 am

    Following the news on the technological advances in the northern isles of the UK, it has come to the attention of the Shetters news team that a band of dedicated crofters on the island of Fetlar in the Shetland Islands are replacing the traditional c...

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  • Jan 8, 2018 | 00:15 am

    The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back.Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...

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  • Jan 6, 2018 | 10:47 am

    Former Health, Education, Water-parks, Traffic Control and Stationary Secretary Jeremy Hunt has spent the weekend waiting in a corridor for news of his next appointment, Deputy Prime Minister and keeper of the Parliamentary pornography.Waiting fo...

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  • Jan 5, 2018 | 09:37 am

    Vegetarian cat, Tiddles Smith, 3, from Chutney on the Fritz has declared vengance on his owners, Mr and Mrs Smith for feeding him a diet of meat for years.The angry moggy says 'All of those hints I have been dropping, such as eating grass, steali...

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  • Jan 5, 2018 | 06:57 am

    Snap election, Britain votesNew £1 coins, new £10 notesRobert Mugabe finally goesMount Agung in Bali blowsRyanAir, staff troubleSyria reduced to rubbleFats Domino, Chuck BerryJeremy Corbyn, GlastonburyFake news, tweets, sackingTorie...

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  • Jan 4, 2018 | 12:58 pm

    We at Back and to the Left news aren't qualified to do a number of jobs. Brain surgeon, structural engineer, milkman or professional sportsmen are all occupations that are well beyond us. However it seems that being a member of the UK justice systems...

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  • Jan 4, 2018 | 05:39 am

    Gary Johnson, a blue and green mould has been depressed for a few days now, after being viciously washed off a mug.The germ form told us 'I had it on easy street, growing on a white mug, with plenty of sour milk in it, I was there for a couple[…]

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  • Jan 3, 2018 | 09:41 am

    Please note that we at Back and to the Left news hate writing about the Tory party. As we type about them our fingers bleed and we can hear the scratching of demons pushing though the thin veil of reality that surrounds our office. We'll get back to...

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  • Jan 1, 2018 | 11:44 am

    Donald Smith of Basingstoke has broken his only new year's resolution in only one day.The Office worker claimed that he wanted to get fit, and joined a gym, paying more than £1,500 for the year's membership, but the chap told us that it is now 17...

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  • Dec 31, 2017 | 08:04 am

    Newly Knighted, former deputy prime Minister Nick Clegg has told his former boss, David (Dave to my mates) Cameron, 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'.The altercation took place in a part of London, where the former colleagues met,...

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  • Dec 27, 2017 | 08:59 am

    A UK supermarket flogging "Brexited" turkeys over the internet were 'not gobbled up' after discovering many of them were rancid!Irate Christmas Dinner lovers in many families all over the UK had their feast ruined by non-EU turkeys that obviously...

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  • Dec 21, 2017 | 17:33 pm

    Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she wou...

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  • Dec 18, 2017 | 13:28 pm

    We at Back and to the Left news were unable to avoid eye contact with Ed Sheeran today and we ended up conducting an interview with him.I've just written the theme song to the new James Bond Movie!Ed we couldn't give less of a shit.Nobo...

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  • Dec 17, 2017 | 05:29 am

    Liverpool, UK: A young lady spotted walking down a Scouse street without knickers, and nothing else apart from a fur coat and ear muffs, flashed her rosy-colored bum to the neighbours and they called the cops believing there was a loony on the loose...

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